I’m either painfully optimistic, or my pessimism crushes me into self doubt. There is no in between.
What’s that word for when a mommy talks down to you like you couldn’t possibly know what you’re talking about because you haven’t experienced the miracle of life?
It’s like a weird self congratulatory verbal pat on the head to anyone who couldn’t possibly know the struggles of how difficult it is to be both a human being AND a mother. Sancti-mommy? (Sanctimonious mommy?)
Whatever that word is, someone just did that to me and it makes me want to take them out at the kneecaps.
Really real talk, I’ve SEEN what you go through with your pups, and you have a SOLID grasp on parenthood.
Even barring the pup raising (that you are doing impeccably well), you were once a child, and you’ve made it to adulthood with a firm grasp on what would make a good parent.
I’m 33 years old, so it doesn’t happen very often that I get the chance to eat something I’ve never eaten before.
Today at the supermarket my son requested bananas, but the Cavendish bananas (that’s the regular kind) were all green and hard as rocks.
However, snuggled between the Cavendish and a stack of plantains was a small pile of short squat banana clusters with a hand drawn sign that said "Burro Bananas!!!" Clearly I had won some sort of new food lottery and Food 4 Less was just making extra sure I didn’t let the opportunity pass me by.
They’re starchier than regular bananas, one was enough to make me feel stupidly full. But their texture is finer as well. The taste is slightly less sweet than a regular banana with a weird almost citrusy taste at the very end. The biggest difference was firmness though.
If a Cavendish banana is a 40 year old woman who has lived a good life, the Burro banana is a 20 year old surfer chick in the winter: A tiny bit soft on the very outside, but super firm inside. I kept expecting it to be bitter due to the firmness normally associated with a very unripe banana.
Will I get them again? I don’t know. There wasn’t anything really exciting about them other than their newness. But I bet they’d be delicious fried like chips, or baked soft and drizzled with caramel… but then, what ISN’T delicious that way.
This has been a blog post about food.
Jeremy’s infamous viagra incident (x)
I don’t even understand my crush on Jeremy Renner, but holy fuck do I ever have one.
Have the blues blown away, baby, is it gone for good?
Forever fangirling over this handsome fellow.
"We’ve been friends for 43 years. Every few years, we meet for a few hours, and pick right back up."
YES! I like this very much. life goals.
Ewan McGregor & Tom Hiddleston in Othello
Excuse me? Excuse YOU! Who dropped the ball and forgot to tell me this existed?!?
My sister in Chicago sent me this today.
It was really nice of her.
Tell her I say thanks
Tell her the entire Internet says thanks.
Tell them I say my bed is burning.
There’s a fine line between being middle aged and being a hipster. I find myself scoffing at the kids in Williamsburg who are proudly strutting around in their high-waisted pleated jeans folded and rolled; pop-collared, boxy shirts (bonus points for layering or sweater around the shoulders); deck shoes or ridic heels; with the biggest plastic glasses and the tallest, fluffiest hair Aqua-net can manage … and my lip curls in scorn as I think: “Man, I rocked that look waaaaay before their poser-asses, back in 1986, yo!”
My name is Jessica. Class of 1988. I am … a middle-aged hipster.
Me & Ana, 1986.
I’m not going to ask IF it happened, but how often it did:
How often did people tell you that you looked like Kimmy Gibler from Full House?
Too great oppression for a tender thing.
"If love be rough with you, be rough with love." is one of those things that’s been on my "get this tattooed on your body" list for a looooooong time.
me too, Arya, me tooooo
This whole scene is golden.
I think this is what thirsty means, right? Like that’s the way the kids are using it these days? Arya is thirsty as fuck. Yes?
people who survive the summer with long hair are surviving the apocalypse
I am a sweaty warrior this summer. Two feet of hair and 100+ degrees all week. It FEELS like a battle. Seriously.
The Little GIRmaid
"I loveded you Eric, I LOVEDED YOUUUUUUUU!"