Video 28 Jul 4,148 notes

nooooooo, how dare you?!? My heart exploded!

(Source: olde-english-bulldogges)

Video 28 Jul 1,738 notes

dilfgod:

how much

AGH! Okay, so, my very first boyfriend was the director and editor for this interview at Popsugar. He posted a link to the interview on FB and captioned it “I’m in love with Chris Pratt now. Did he just call himself a boner doctor?”

So yeah, he developed a massive hetero-crush on Chris Pratt due to him developing the moniker Boner Doctor.

(Source: chrisprattawesomesource)

Photo 26 Jul 35,216 notes sogowiththeflow:

Hi, my name is stewart and I am a candidate for adoption. I love to play and eat trash. Please take a seat and we can go over the details.

I have a MIGHTY NEED for a companion raccoon in my life.

sogowiththeflow:

Hi, my name is stewart and I am a candidate for adoption. I love to play and eat trash. Please take a seat and we can go over the details.

I have a MIGHTY NEED for a companion raccoon in my life.

(Source: awwww-cute)

Text 24 Jul

I’m either painfully optimistic, or my pessimism crushes me into self doubt. There is no in between.

Text 23 Jul 8 notes

justmakeitstop:

What’s that word for when a mommy talks down to you like you couldn’t possibly know what you’re talking about because you haven’t experienced the miracle of life?

It’s like a weird self congratulatory verbal pat on the head to anyone who couldn’t possibly know the struggles of how difficult it is to be both a human being AND a mother. Sancti-mommy? (Sanctimonious mommy?) 

Whatever that word is, someone just did that to me and it makes me want to take them out at the kneecaps. 

Really real talk, I’ve SEEN what you go through with your pups, and you have a SOLID grasp on parenthood. 

Even barring the pup raising (that you are doing impeccably well), you were once a child, and you’ve made it to adulthood with a firm grasp on what would make a good parent.

Text 22 Jul Ate an entirely new food today

I’m 33 years old, so it doesn’t happen very often that I get the chance to eat something I’ve never eaten before.

Today at the supermarket my son requested bananas, but the Cavendish bananas (that’s the regular kind) were all green and hard as rocks.

However, snuggled between the Cavendish and a stack of plantains was a small pile of short squat banana clusters with a hand drawn sign that said "Burro Bananas!!!" Clearly I had won some sort of new food lottery and Food 4 Less was just making extra sure I didn’t let the opportunity pass me by.

They’re starchier than regular bananas, one was enough to make me feel stupidly full. But their texture is finer as well. The taste is slightly less sweet than a regular banana with a weird almost citrusy taste at the very end. The biggest difference was firmness though.

If a Cavendish banana is a 40 year old woman who has lived a good life, the Burro banana is a 20 year old surfer chick in the winter: A tiny bit soft on the very outside, but super firm inside. I kept expecting it to be bitter due to the firmness normally associated with a very unripe banana.

Will I get them again? I don’t know. There wasn’t anything really exciting about them other than their newness. But I bet they’d be delicious fried like chips, or baked soft and drizzled with caramel… but then, what ISN’T delicious that way.

This has been a blog post about food.

Video 22 Jul 2,446 notes

Jeremy’s infamous viagra incident (x)

I don’t even understand my crush on Jeremy Renner, but holy fuck do I ever have one.

via bruh.
Photo 21 Jul 7 notes oldsparky:

Have the blues blown away, baby, is it gone for good?

Forever fangirling over this handsome fellow.

oldsparky:

Have the blues blown away, baby, is it gone for good?

Forever fangirling over this handsome fellow.

via Old Sparky.
Photo 13 Jul 10,706 notes humansofnewyork:

"We’ve been friends for 43 years. Every few years, we meet for a few hours, and pick right back up."

YES! I like this very much. life goals.

humansofnewyork:

"We’ve been friends for 43 years. Every few years, we meet for a few hours, and pick right back up."

YES! I like this very much. life goals.

Photo 12 Jul 74 notes classicgirlinamodernworld:

Ewan McGregor & Tom Hiddleston in Othelloasdf;lajdf;laksdfsdf

Excuse me? Excuse YOU! Who dropped the ball and forgot to tell me this existed?!?

classicgirlinamodernworld:

Ewan McGregor & Tom Hiddleston in Othello

asdf;lajdf;laksdfsdf

Excuse me? Excuse YOU! Who dropped the ball and forgot to tell me this existed?!?

Photo 11 Jul 145,824 notes impalasscent:

destipie99:

spinachandchocolate:

claireruns:

manorhousebey:

My sister in Chicago sent me this today.  
It was really nice of her.


Tell her I say thanks

Tell her the entire Internet says thanks.

Tell them I say my bed is burning.

impalasscent:

destipie99:

spinachandchocolate:

claireruns:

manorhousebey:

My sister in Chicago sent me this today.  

It was really nice of her.

Tell her I say thanks

Tell her the entire Internet says thanks.

Tell them I say my bed is burning.

(Source: mycanofpeaches)

Photo 10 Jul 26,165 notes God damn it, Universe! GIVE ME A PIGGY!!!!!!

God damn it, Universe! GIVE ME A PIGGY!!!!!!

(Source: isssabeau)

Text 8 Jul 4 notes Horrifying realization …

thesoundofonebrainthinking:

There’s a fine line between being middle aged and being a hipster. I find myself scoffing at the kids in Williamsburg who are proudly strutting around in their high-waisted pleated jeans folded and rolled; pop-collared, boxy shirts (bonus points for layering or sweater around the shoulders); deck shoes or ridic heels; with the biggest plastic glasses and the tallest, fluffiest hair Aqua-net can manage … and my lip curls in scorn as I think: “Man, I rocked that look waaaaay before their poser-asses, back in 1986, yo!”  

My name is Jessica. Class of 1988. I am … a middle-aged hipster. 

image

Me & Ana, 1986. 

I’m not going to ask IF it happened, but how often it did:

How often did people tell you that you looked like Kimmy Gibler from Full House?

Video 7 Jul 23,048 notes

Too great oppression for a tender thing.

"If love be rough with you, be rough with love." is one of those things that’s been on my "get this tattooed on your body" list for a looooooong time.

(Source: romeoandjulietfan)

via bruh.
Video 7 Jul 92,726 notes

thespyandthesoldier:

weight-a-second:

me too, Arya, me tooooo

This whole scene is golden.

I think this is what thirsty means, right? Like that’s the way the kids are using it these days? Arya is thirsty as fuck. Yes?

(Source: gameofsnow)


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