SO MUCH HAPPINESS!
My brain seriously could not process this much happiness and I started crying while watching this. Seriously, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Hanging out in my house wearing as little clothing as possible because my apartment is WAY too warm.
I am equal parts: Tired, horny, and hungry for a giant salad. I don’t know what to make of any of that.
I am waiting patiently for my period to start, I have prepared for the event by washing all my really ugly underwear.
I am in love with my new spring green nail polish and how I feel super girly wearing it.
I am wondering how old my son will be when I stop watching him sleep and feeling like time stands still except for those little eyelashes fluttering on his cheek and his tiny snores.
I am tearing up thinking about my kid snoring, and thus realizing that I am a weird kid.
I am hoping to find a lumberjack this summer who will want to kiss my face a lot.
I am really trying to get some funds together to get a tattoo I’ve wanted for a long time, but it might be another year yet…
I am in dire need of lotion on my everything. Alaskan summers are dry as hell!
I am going to bed.
I buy men’s razors because I can get a pack of 15 for the same price as one lady razor. Plus, I mean, they work just as well, and I’m not about to spend more money on something because it’s pink and named after a Goddess.
Also,
pushing back against gender bs is even better when you save $$!
ALSO also. I use one of those Axe Shower Tools because it has a shower poof AND a loofah scrubby thing, which saves space in my shower….if only they made it in pink so I could use it proudly, instead of with the SHAME of using a men’s shower tool….oh no, wait….I don’t have any shame at all. My wash utensils have no gender!!!
- “Hey, Shannon, I think my workers like you.”
- “Of course they do, Cecil, I’m hilarious and I have tits.”
- *Cecil regains his composure* “Well shit. They just don’t get anything done when you’re around!”
- “Tell them to come visit me in the office on their lunch break to get their fix, otherwise you keep them on a short leash, you’re the boss man, remember?”
- “Yeah yeah. They’re no good though, you don’t need ‘em, they’re nothin but trouble!”
- “We still talking about your workers? or are we talking about you, Cecil?”
- “Heh, I gotta get back to work…”
go off IUD, have a month of sex dreams, still haven’t gotten laid since November 2010.
Something is very wrong here. My vag is about to hold a protest with little picket signs:
“PENETRATION NOW!”
“I demand regular service”
etc, etc, etc….
Gonna throw this around, someone posted it on Bea’s blog the other day and I realized I’ve had the tab open since.
Cat and dog shaped keychains that double as a self-defense tools. Come in the candy coloured plastic ones above, or slightly less inconspicuous metal ones like this;
My job is in a rather dicey part of town, and I want one of these really badly.
Red Warriors antifascist street gang, Paris, 1980’s.
We need more people like this today.
unf.
(Source: urbaneguerrilla)
In other news, it’s spring / summer in Alaska, I have too many Chris’s that I want to spend 7 minutes in heaven with…and apparently I’m 13.
How do you even play 7 minutes in heaven? I had a terrible adolescence. I never even played spin the bottle!
Someone make out with me! QUICK! Preferably one of those aforementioned Chris’s…
They came out with a generic for my anti-depressant, and I can’t pronounce it, but I keep on reading it as Ectoplasm, and when I relayed this to the pharmacist he smiled, looked at the label and said “yeah, I could totally see that. Next time you come in, if I’m working, tell me you need your ectoplasm refilled, and I’ll remember you.”
Yeah, the pharmacists at my pharmacy are pretty awesome :)
Oh hey it’s that beautiful boy from Glee!….why do I know him only as that boy from Glee? Wasn’t I raised better than this? don’t I….
eyes….
he has pretty eyes….
and that’s a lot of lower belly skin showing..
I like that in a celebrity.
(Source: strawberrrymilk)
I have been watching the new Chipmunk movies with my son, and none of them are 1/10th as good as the Chipmunk Adventure cartoon that I rented from the video store as a kid until I literally wore their tape out and they didn’t reorder it (so many tears).
Aaaanyway, I like that I recognized this GIF as coming from that movie entirely based on the hair and leg warmers of this character.
(Source: thelikelyculprit)
Items in the giveaway:
The little bit naughty book of sex positions- Retail value: $10.99
After Glow toy and body wipes- Retail value: $9.99
Silicone finger bunny- Retail value: $12.99
Multispeed basic vibrating bullet- Retail value: $9.99
Cupid Ripples Traditional vibrator- Retail value: $32.99
To enter, all you have to do is reblog this post. Only one reblog per person, and a like will count as an extra entry. Winner will be randomly chosen May 30. Sorry, but only for those in the US. Good luck!!
*All products purchased at edenfantasys.
a single girls best friend? Yup, kinda looks like it.
milk based cocktails are dangerous because…
suddenly drunk!
As a plus, I made one that tastes just like an iced mint mocha.
